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Grieving
Our pets live relatively short lives. For many of us who love
our pets, their death can affect some of us even more than the
death of a relative or friend. The death of a pet leaves few
people totally untouched.
A pet may come to symbolize many things to each of us. It may
represent a child, perhaps a child yet to be conceived or the
innocent child in us all. It may reflect the ideal mate or
parent, ever faithful, patient and welcoming, loving us
unconditionally. It is a playmate and a sibling. It is a
reflection of ourselves, embodying negative and positive
qualities we recognize or lack in ourselves. The same pet may be
all of these, alternating between roles on any given day or for
each member of the family.
When a pet dies, we expect that our pain will be acknowledged,
even if it is not shared, by our relatives, friends and
colleagues. Though the bond between you and your pet is as
valuable as any of your human relationships, the importance of
its loss may not be appreciated by other people. The process of
grieving for a pet is no different than mourning the death of a
human being. The difference lies in the value that is placed on
your pet by your family and by society as a whole.
Your grief may be compounded by lack of response from a friend
or family member. Realize that you do not need anyone else's
approval to mourn the loss of your pet, nor must you justify
your feelings to anyone. Do not fault anyone who cannot
appreciate the depth of your grief for a pet. The joy found in
the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone.
Seek validation for your pain from people who will understand
you. Speak with your veterinarian, a veterinary technician,
groomer or another pet owner. Ask for a referral to pet grief
support groups or veterinary bereavement counselors in your
area. The death of a pet can revive painful memories and
unresolved conflicts from the past that amplify your current
emotional upheaval. Seek comfort in the support of professional
counselors or clergy.
This is an opportunity for emotional growth. Your life was and
will continue to be brighter because of the time that you shared
with your pet. This is the best testament to the value of your
pet's existence. Copyright ©1996, 1997
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